I've been thinking about this post for quite a while and I finally got around to doing it! I'm tall. If you know me, you should at least know that much! This is my personal list of the everyday issues of being tall--bahahaha ;)
1.People asking if you played volleyball or basketball--you clearly have never seen me play sports
2. Trying to find pants that are long enough--I dream of pants that drag on the ground!
3. Finding a skirt that isn't actually a halter top dress. (The struggle is real!)
4. Being judged for wearing heels (don't even think about attempting stilettos, unless you want to break your neck!)
5.Tiny bathroom stalls--if I don't hunch I can see over into everyone's stall... awkward
6. Trying to fit in the bathtub. The phrase go take a nice relaxing tub never applies
7. Trying to sit at a desk and scoot in--I just want to cross my legs!
8.Having to wear undershirts with EVERY SINGLE thing
9. The awkward knee bend when you take pictures--blend, trying to blend!
10. Hugs--lower, lower, LOWER! You can't be very huggable at this height yo, and never get to "nestle" with the side squish, boo!
11. Shoes. Shoes besides flip flops that don't look like old grandma style
12. One size fits all gloves. Need I say more?
13. Tripping over everything even your own feet because your height causes an unnatural lack of balance
14. People telling you that you're tall. Wait, what? No way, really?!
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Falling asleep--or not
It's late, and I can't sleep. Today I stayed home sick after some convincing last night--I usually tough it out unless I am physically unable to get out of bed. Momma dropped off some apple cider and movies for me to watch (thanks for making me cry!) And Chels kept my kids and even brought them home to me after dance. The day alone proved to be exactly what I needed in more than one way--at least a start. Things have been changing, as I'm told they often do. How many times can I write a sentence just to backspace and start over? This is a good example of where I'm at, though. How quickly balance is lost--here it goes.
Running. Such wonderful self discoveries while running, and in the beautiful fall weather. I battle myself to go these days--it's a strange feeling not wanting to do anything but trying to convinced yourself otherwise at the same time! Some days I want to push harder and harder, until I actually do and then I want to quit.
This is the road right by Grandma. I love it there, it's so peaceful. I go there often to talk with her, if I'm having a hard day, questioning where I belong, or sometimes just to cry. I can say anything and everything and I know she will still be there --still love me no matter what. Except that she's not. Here I mean. Go ahead and laugh now, I talk to people who no longer exist! Removed--have you ever felt like that?
Well now that I've succeeded at saying a bunch of absolutely nothing anyone will be able to make sense of, I think I will try to sleep. After I find me some chocolate of course! Goodnight.
Running. Such wonderful self discoveries while running, and in the beautiful fall weather. I battle myself to go these days--it's a strange feeling not wanting to do anything but trying to convinced yourself otherwise at the same time! Some days I want to push harder and harder, until I actually do and then I want to quit.
The leaves on this tree were so pretty I saw a few weeks back while I was running!
This is the road right by Grandma. I love it there, it's so peaceful. I go there often to talk with her, if I'm having a hard day, questioning where I belong, or sometimes just to cry. I can say anything and everything and I know she will still be there --still love me no matter what. Except that she's not. Here I mean. Go ahead and laugh now, I talk to people who no longer exist! Removed--have you ever felt like that?
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Put one foot in front of the other
Have you ever felt homesick, when you are home? Every once in a while I do. That's how this afternoon started out, maybe it was because traditions with my grandma used to be a main portion of Peach Days weekend, or maybe just because I've felt like something is missing lately.
I haven't been able to run much at all this week with school starting and crazy schedules, and I miss it. I had finally worked my way up to being able to run 30 minutes straight--no walking--but my pace was SO slow. Momma says at least I am moving and not on the couch, but my big goal still seems so far away.
I've been reading a lot about faith and trust lately. I know this sounds crazy, but I realized that in my mind I have connected running with learning how to trust. When I push myself I often start panicking--how can I possibly keep going? Usually after I fail my running goal, I think about how if I could just trust that my body can keep going, that nothing bad will happen, and push through...
This quote really sums up what I am also learning everyday. I honestly feel that as soon as I can learn to trust myself with running, trust what others are telling me, then I will simultaneously be learning to trust in Heavenly Father's plan for me. Or maybe even the other way around. If I can just DO it!
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This has been hanging where I could see it everyday for the past year. Each quote holds a special memory or meaning for me, especially "You is smart, you is kind, you is important." Oh how often I needed those words! I am slowly realizing I am worth more than I thought, capable of so much, and gaining strength with every step I take. I think it's time I update this board :)
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Just keep running.....or just keep swimming
"I believe I am always divinely guided. I believe I will always take the right road. I believe God will always make a way where there is no way." --Christopher S. Wren.
This past weekend I had the privilege of going to Island Park and staying in Gibby cabin for a girls only retreat--I will post more about that later. There is something to be said about being away from the city and out in nature for a while. It's almost like leaving the world behind.
Combine with that the wonderful sisterhood that comes with such trips--friendships made or strengthened--and it just doesn't get much better than that. (AND someone who is willing to paint other's toe nails, that's love!)
It was so nice to just sit outside in the stillness and read scriptures, and I felt a little closer to heaven. Momma joined me and we spoke of second chances, learning from the past but not getting stuck there, and how there is a way provided for all of us if we choose it. We always have a choice--even when it seems we don't.
I spent some time thinking after other conversations as well--I am constantly amazed at how Heavenly Father really does know me and how he tells me that through others. Sometimes there are things another person shares, unexpectedly, that you know can't be coincidence. The things we need, forward steps, they are good but that doesn't mean they aren't hard.
The night we got back home all I could think about was running. I wanted to run, and run, and then just keep running. Running has been doing much more than just helping me accomplish goals--it helps me let go of hard things and keep going. It's while running that I often find myself. I don't understand why things happen or what the next steps are, but I am learning to trust and to "just keep swimming," and I am grateful for the blessing of having others that don't let me forget that.
This past weekend I had the privilege of going to Island Park and staying in Gibby cabin for a girls only retreat--I will post more about that later. There is something to be said about being away from the city and out in nature for a while. It's almost like leaving the world behind.
Combine with that the wonderful sisterhood that comes with such trips--friendships made or strengthened--and it just doesn't get much better than that. (AND someone who is willing to paint other's toe nails, that's love!)
It was so nice to just sit outside in the stillness and read scriptures, and I felt a little closer to heaven. Momma joined me and we spoke of second chances, learning from the past but not getting stuck there, and how there is a way provided for all of us if we choose it. We always have a choice--even when it seems we don't.
I spent some time thinking after other conversations as well--I am constantly amazed at how Heavenly Father really does know me and how he tells me that through others. Sometimes there are things another person shares, unexpectedly, that you know can't be coincidence. The things we need, forward steps, they are good but that doesn't mean they aren't hard.
The night we got back home all I could think about was running. I wanted to run, and run, and then just keep running. Running has been doing much more than just helping me accomplish goals--it helps me let go of hard things and keep going. It's while running that I often find myself. I don't understand why things happen or what the next steps are, but I am learning to trust and to "just keep swimming," and I am grateful for the blessing of having others that don't let me forget that.
Friday, July 11, 2014
Road Trip!
Last week we made the journey to Colorado to attend our first Juvenile Arthritis Conference! (For those who don't know, well, anyone reading this should know, but my 3 year old was diagnosed about a year and half ago. Kids get arthritis too!)
It was SO beautiful up where we stayed--this is the view from our condo!
Everyday they would remind all of us to drink extra water because of the high elevation--good thing I brought my new cool mug, thanks Chels!
Here's Alissa at the opening night dinner--why da heck she thought this was a good pose I will never know! We jammed to Koo Koo Kangaroo (a few guys in their 20's jumping around singing songs about chomping dinosaurs, hmmmm)
We took the skii lift up to the TOP of the mountain! (I forgot the sunscreen, shhhh)
Still had to do my running, no way I was gonna let that slip, vacation or not! It was actually really awesome running on the paths through those mountains and streams...oh, except the last run which was NOT very pleasant as it was all inclined on the way back! But my dad ran with me, so we struck a shoe pose.
Blast from the past--what the?! Who HAS this old of an oven, I didn't even know how to work it!
Awww, isn't the wildlife cute?
Meet Colorados Jayden Isaiah, folks! No, that was NOT a typo, that's Colorados with an "s!" K lovingly named the snake she made, explaining that adding the "s" just makes it funner to say. (By the way, she also walked around for days talking about a "Chelsea Bays" because that was also fun)
Highlight of their trip--shuttle rides
Time for feuud
Git yer boots, cow belts, and lassos (okay I know nothing about cowboy talk) ready for the HOE DOWN!
We had a great time, and hope to make this a yearly tradition, we learned so many new ways to help deal with this disease!
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Ape and the Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Run...
Do you remember back in elementary school when they would have those pentathlon/triathlon whatever da heck thingies? It was like exercise but "fun," and then everyone who beat a certain level would get the Presidential Fitness Award, followed up by the National Fitness Award.
Yep, that one! Well I never got one of those, EVER. In fact, when Jr. High and High School hit, the thing I dreaded most about P.E. class was the mile run. So why in the world becoming a runner has become so important to me now I have no idea--I hate running!
About 5 weeks ago I decided I wished I liked to run. I imagined how it would feel to be free, to forget the world for a while and just...run. It was something I did not think I could do--and so began my drive to learn how. The training sheet I am using is supposed to enable me to run 3 miles straight by gradually conditioning my body to do so. It was a struggle but I had been completing each step...until a few weeks ago.
As I prepared for this morning's run I tried hard to tell myself "you can!" But after 5 failed attempts over the last few weeks, discouragement was winning. Momma ran with me--oh how I envy her ability! I need a good accountability partner, you know, encouraging yet unrelenting and pushy (love you too!)
I had been making it through 3 of the 4 splits, but today I only made it through 1 before I felt myself breaking down. Those last two shouldn't even count I did so bad. She kept telling me I couldn't quit yet--"just make it to that basketball hoop, the garbage can, the car, come on, let's go!" Crazy how LONG the last minute of a split can be when you are dying! My stomach hurt so bad, like someone had kicked me in the gut. My lungs felt like they couldn't get enough air, I couldn't breathe and I was panicking. Pretty sure I was running in fetal position (imagine that one), and Momma kept telling me to put a smile on my face! Really?! She said I could hit her for it later ;)
Then I gave in to those negative thoughts, I actually told myself I was going to stop running at "that car." Honestly, I would have stopped running and sat down if Momma hadn't been with me, I wanted to quit. I had told myself I wouldn't quit until I could DO this, but now I had doubts. Could I really do it?
Momma says she heard somewhere that your body can do more than your mind tells you it can--I imagine getting my mind to trust more might give me the willpower I need. So maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm in over my head, and maybe running will never get easier for me. But maybe, just maybe it's what I need to prove to myself that I can make it through something hard.
Yep, that one! Well I never got one of those, EVER. In fact, when Jr. High and High School hit, the thing I dreaded most about P.E. class was the mile run. So why in the world becoming a runner has become so important to me now I have no idea--I hate running!
About 5 weeks ago I decided I wished I liked to run. I imagined how it would feel to be free, to forget the world for a while and just...run. It was something I did not think I could do--and so began my drive to learn how. The training sheet I am using is supposed to enable me to run 3 miles straight by gradually conditioning my body to do so. It was a struggle but I had been completing each step...until a few weeks ago.
STOP! "Do not pass Go, do not collect $200!" Stuck.
As I prepared for this morning's run I tried hard to tell myself "you can!" But after 5 failed attempts over the last few weeks, discouragement was winning. Momma ran with me--oh how I envy her ability! I need a good accountability partner, you know, encouraging yet unrelenting and pushy (love you too!)
I had been making it through 3 of the 4 splits, but today I only made it through 1 before I felt myself breaking down. Those last two shouldn't even count I did so bad. She kept telling me I couldn't quit yet--"just make it to that basketball hoop, the garbage can, the car, come on, let's go!" Crazy how LONG the last minute of a split can be when you are dying! My stomach hurt so bad, like someone had kicked me in the gut. My lungs felt like they couldn't get enough air, I couldn't breathe and I was panicking. Pretty sure I was running in fetal position (imagine that one), and Momma kept telling me to put a smile on my face! Really?! She said I could hit her for it later ;)
Then I gave in to those negative thoughts, I actually told myself I was going to stop running at "that car." Honestly, I would have stopped running and sat down if Momma hadn't been with me, I wanted to quit. I had told myself I wouldn't quit until I could DO this, but now I had doubts. Could I really do it?
Momma says she heard somewhere that your body can do more than your mind tells you it can--I imagine getting my mind to trust more might give me the willpower I need. So maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm in over my head, and maybe running will never get easier for me. But maybe, just maybe it's what I need to prove to myself that I can make it through something hard.
Friday, June 20, 2014
Something to celebrate
Yesterday was my birthday! It really was a wonderful day, filled with kind words and the people I love. At home there was an amazing cake waiting for me that my Mom and Lexi had picked out (feel free to icknore the number on there), which officially stuffed me for the night after a day full of treats and yummy food. I even loved the incredible (yet off-key) singing that my Dad and brother joined in for ;)
Momma surprised me by showing up at my office with balloons of many "happy colors,"and yes they are staying here as long as they will last!
But it was the framed poem that has stuck in my mind--she knew it was meant for me.
Have you ever seen something or had a moment that just felt familiar? This was one of those times, right down to the beautiful flowers. How fitting it was! And it reminded me of my Grandma Sycamore too, she would have loved this. The words caused me to look back...
It was one year ago yesterday that I took a step that changed my life. Those close to me know the full extent of what I mean. Sometimes I think we don't realize how much we have changed until we look back--steps may be small but they are there. Often our hardest struggles are the ones we fight with ourselves. Those deep-seeded thoughts that turn into self-fulfilling prophecies fueled by doubt and fear. We say life isn't fair and we start to give up, but the power to overcome has always been within reach--it's in ourselves.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
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