Dawn

It's amazing how the Lord works sometimes, and you often don't see your progress unless you look back at where you came from.  I look back to one year ago, 2 years ago, 3 years ago...how fearful I was.  Don't get me wrong--I'm still fighting many fears.  But I've gotten to a point where I can start working through them instead of letting them consume me.  One year ago, really actually just a few months ago, I was at a point where I refused to be willing to give up certain things to Him.  I wanted to turn my will over, but with conditions.  Translation=I didn't really trust Him.  I was reading through some passages in my personal journal from about 3 years ago. It was a time when I was facing some very challenging things, but it was also a time when I was very close to Heavenly Father. I realized that in a way, I had forgotten.  I was so fearful that if I started submitting to His will again--without knowing what that would entail--that I would lose people that had become very dear to my heart.  But I had forgotten that it was through that trial several years ago and during that time that I submitted to Him, that I was blessed to have those people brought into my life.

I can't say that it was one amazing moment or experience that started to cause my understanding to shift over these last several months.  Rather it seems it was a combination of many small and simple things that added up.  I went from not even considering being willing in that area, to getting to a point where I am thinking about it.  And I think that's a good step.